Ki Seitzei – How to climb the slippery slope of עבירות

To the untrained eye this פרשה can look like a very random mixture of short commandments. There are numerous small sections of text that seem to have nothing to do with each other. We hear about a non-Jewish captive that can be taken as a wife after she sits at your entranceway unkempt for 30 days in the hopes that you will find her disgusting and not marry her. We hear the story of the man who has two wives one of which he loves and one that he hates and then of the deviant and wayward son. The scenario of finding a nest and sending away the mother bird to take the eggs, the commandment to build a fence on your roof, and the warning not to mix wool and linen. It almost seems like Moshe sees that we are nearing the end of the Torah so he tries to cram in whatever else he wanted to tell the people. This obviously is not the case and the מדרש picks up on the seeming randomness and addresses the problem to tie the loose pieces together into one cohesive text.

The מדרש explains two very famous concepts are the themes that run through the פרשה, מצוה גוררת מצוה and עבירה גוררת עבירה.

We start with עבירה גוררת עבורה and the פרשה begins with יפת תואר, the story of a soldier who sees a beautiful woman from the enemy land and he takes her back to be his wife, the Torah technically permits him to marry her but tries to avoid that actually happening so Hashem says to have her sit in mourning and in a disheveled state for 30 days in the hopes that you will find her disgusting and send her out. The מדרש says that if a man doesn’t realize that Hashem really wants him not to marry her, and he goes ahead and does marry her, he will end up having a wayward and devious son, who steals from his father to buy wine and meat to overindulge in. His punishment is death which is only to have him die before he commits too heinous of a crime, in the words of the גמרא, ימות זכאי ואל ימות חייב. And the words that follow are וכי יהיה באיש חטא משפט מות, which tell us that one who ignores signs of a בן סורר ומורה will end up seeing him be judged for committing a capital crime. We clearly see the pattern of how the stories are link together and that this entire piece of text is teaching us that עבירה גוררת עבורה. There is a natural order that one עבירה leads seamlessly into the next. Obviously if someone marries someone that the Torah would rather that they not marry, then this relationship will cause stress in the house and children of such a marriage won’t be brought up properly. It’s a simple cause and effect.

This idea always scared me. This concept is applied to all the עבירות in the Torah, which means that each עבירה has a natural effect which will lead to another עבירה. Once someone slip once, how does one break out of the cycle? Could there be some sort of a solution and help to get out of the spiral? I think the answer lies in the rest of the מדרש.

The מדרש goes on to tell us that if you stumble upon a bird’s nest, and you send away the mother before taking the chicks/eggs then you’ve done a mitzva and you’ll merit to build a new house, which brings the opportunity to put a fence on your roof. This will lead you to have fields and vineyards where you can’t plant grapes and grain near each other. Observing this command will lead you to the opportunity to avoid plowing with a donkey and ox together and the chance to have beautiful clothes to wear ציצית on. The million-dollar question is how to get from the black hole of עבירה גוררת עבירה to the wonderful journey of מצוה גוררת מצוה?

Turns out that there are a few short verses between the string of עבירות and the string of מצוה גוררת מצוה, and I think the פרשה is showing us a journey where even if one slips and falls down the chute of עבירות, if you follow these middle commandments you’ll be able to stand up and climb the ladder of מצוות. Let’s take a look at these מצוות.

1. Don’t watch your brother’s ox or sheep wandering and turn a blind eye (והתעלמת מהם), rather return them to him. This applies to a donkey, clothes or any lost item that you find, don’t turn a blind eye (לא תוכל להתעלם).
2. If you don’t know whose ox it is, take it into your home and keep it until you are able to find the owner
3. Don’t watch your brothers donkey or ox fallen on the ground and turn a blind eye (והתעלמת מהם)
4. A woman shouldn’t wear men’s clothes and a man shouldn’t wear lady’s clothes, this is an abomination to Hashem.

We keep hearing these words והתעלמת, don’t turn a blind eye, or literally to cover your eyes. That word sounds just like עולם the word for world or natural order. I think the Torah is giving us the clue of how to step out of the natural spiral of עבירה גוררת עבירה with these מצוות. Hashem is challenging each of us to not stay within our own bubble and conveniently ignore something that is uncomfortable or annoying to address. If you see someone in need, help them. And if that requires you to go out of your way a little to house someone’s lost object until they can claim it, then so be it. Hashem created physics and chemistry which He doesn’t need so that we would have a space to survive in and the way to get close to Him and break the chain of א is to emulate Him and carve a space out for others in our lives even when it isn’t necessary for us. You’re on the road after a long day and your mind is occupied with everything that life brings into our heads, and you notice a <name any seemingly insignificant item>. To you it’s just something left on the floor, but there is likely someone else out there whose mind is preoccupied with where they left their item. The way to step outside the natural spiral of is to step outside of our bubbles and realize that each person has a story and a personality that we can affect if we are sensitive to the fact that they are just as unique and intricate as we are.