Toldos – Continuing the family legacy

This week we read about Yakov outsmarting his father and getting the ברכות that were intended to be given to עשו. It’s a complicated piece and one that has many intricacies and details. There are a few details that I would like to point out which may lead to somewhat of an understanding.

Almost every single time two people are mentioned in this story the Torah tells us their familial relationship aside from their names. For example:

• ויהי כי זקן יצחק … ויקרא את עשו בנו הגדול.
• ורבקה אמרה אל יעקב בנה לאמר הנה שמעתי את אביך מדבר אל עשו אחיך לאמר
• ויאמר יעקב אל רבקה אמו הן עשו אחי איש שעיר
• ויגש יעקב אל יצחק אביו
• ויאמר אליו יצחק אביו

And this goes on all the way till the end of the story. We all know the famous Rashi that he doesn’t know why the Torah tells us that Rivka was אם יעקב ועשו, but we seem to be overlooking that fact that the same unnecessary relationship details get told over and over again.

There is another glaring problem that makes the whole story seem much more strange. If I was writing this story, as soon as עשו finds out Yakov stole the ברכות, curtain closes, and the next scene is Yakov running for his life while Rivka and Yitzchak have an argument about how she could have done this to him. But we get a completely different ending. It’s almost peaceful. Rivka tells Yitzchak this one line that if Yakov marries the בנות חת her life has no purpose, and then Yitzchak calls Yakov in as if nothing has happened, gives him a ברכה voluntarily, and tells him to go marry Uncle Lavan’s daughter. And עשו is even watching all this happen and then decides to marry Yishmael’s daughter. The Torah says וילך יעקב, no ויברח or even a מהר. Where did the imminent danger go?

The second ברכה that Yitzchak gives is nearly identical to the first. Each has three main components. 1: you will have abundant food and children, 2: you will be a strong and mighty nation, 3: you will have the ברכה of Avraham, namely that those who bless you will be blessed and those who curse you will be cursed. Why did Yitzchak need to repeat himself and give practically the same ברכה twice?

At the end of the story both Rivka and Yitzchak send Yakov away, but, Rivka says go to Lavan my brother in חרן, and Yitzchak says go to Lavan in פדן ארם. I don’t know my Mesopotamian geography that well so it is possible that one is just a suburb of the other, but why would the Torah specifically use two different names?

I think the family relationship emphasis is what tells us that these ברכות were the handing off of the family mantle. The legacy that Avraham started was moving on to the third generation. What was that legacy?

If we go back to the end of parshas Noach, the Torah tells a story of three brothers, Avram, Nachor, and Haran. Haran dies and Avram and Nachor each marry one of his daughters. The significance of this is in juxtaposition to מגדל בבל where the whole world was focused on “נעשה לנו שם” and promoting their own agendas, there was one family that was looking out for each other. One brother dies early, his family will make sure his children are taken care of and that his name is carried on, even if it takes many decades, which is what happened with Avraham. This is the only story we hear about Avraham before we find out that Hashem has chosen him, which sounds like it was this selflessness that was the inception of the Jewish nation. And this is what the story of the ברכות in our parsha is dealing with.

Yitzchak was fooled by עשו, and Rivka knew that she needs to make sure that Yakov is the one that carries on the family name. She forces him to go out of his comfort zone and manipulate his father to get the ברכות, which he does. But then something interesting happens, she tells Yitzchak קצתי בחיי מפני מפני בנות חת אם לקח יעקב אשה מבנות חת כאלה מבנות הארץ למה לי חיים. I am disgusted by these daughters of חת, if Yakov takes a wife from the daughters of חת like these [wives of עשו] why am I alive? Strange speech, but it seems like that was what turned Yitzchak around because as soon as he hears this he calls Yakov in and gives him the same ברכות again, but now voluntarily! I think Rivka was telling Yitzchak to see the true עשו. Back when she was pregnant she had said אם כן למה זה אנכי, which the Ramban explains as: if this is the pain I will have, why am I alive. I think the second למה of why do I need life is a mirror of the first למה from so long ago of why is this happening to me . She is showing Yitzchak that עשו’s wives are filling our house with עבודה זרה! And this has been a problem since the first time I said למה when they were inside my stomach. There is no way Eisav was fit to have the ברכות, Yakov needs to carry on the family name. to which Yitzchak seemingly concurs, and he re-blesses Yakov.

The last piece of evidence is the difference in ‘where’ each of Yakov’s parents sent him. To explain, I’d like to show you something neat. If you follow the Avraham story, the family left מאור כשדים ללכת ארצה כנען ויבאו עד חרן וישבו שם They were heading for כנען which the מדרש tells us was recognized as the Godly country. But something happened, and they didn’t make it. Hashem then tests Avraham and asks him; can you complete the journey that your family began? And he succeeds! But, when it comes to marriage and having children, this family must go back to their original residency to find spouses. Avraham tells Eliezer, swear to me that you won’t take a wife for Yitzchak from the בנות כנען. And now for Yakov, it seems like there are two problems to be avoided. Firstly, the בנות חת in the area are a very bad influence as we saw with עשו, but there is also the family legacy continuum that needs to be followed. It seems like Yitzchak is only trying to avoid the first and he doesn’t specify that Yakov should go to חרן, but Rivka on the other hand tells Yakov, go to חרן Go back to where your cousins are and bring them back to כנען. Help them complete the journey that their great-grandfather Nachor began with your grandfather Avraham.

And in fact, Yakov does make the trip to חרן as opposed to פדן ארם like his father said. He does accept the mantle of power and responsibility that comes with the ברכות that he received twice. And he passed that on to us, we are all meant to make the journey of the אבות. Sometimes it’s in the form of לך לך, sometimes it means you are born in the right place and never need to leave, and sometimes you have to get down and dirty to match up with liars and cheaters to get there and also stop in a בית מדרש for 14 years. This journey of Jewish legacy has many faces but there is always one common denominator, you should always be heading to כנען, the land where Hashem’s presence is felt. The land where as the מדרש tells us people plant, harvest and wait for their crops as opposed to eating and drinking to enjoy the moment. The place where a simple taxi driver will give you a mussar schmooze more powerful than you’ve ever heard before.

There are a lot of open questions which need to be addressed here. But the Torah is a dynamic and living entity that is our work in progress, and as such not every vort needs to come neatly packaged.