Chayei Sara – Patience

For the last two פרשיות we have heard the two promises that Hashem made to Avraham. Land and children, land and children, land and children. When does that promise come true? Is it really only centuries later when a nation of millions crosses the Jordan river that the promise is seen through?

I think this week’s פרשה is when the seeds of the promise are fulfilled, and it’s for that reason that the Torah can say when Avraham dies וימת אברהם בשבה טובה זקן ושבע, that he died at an old age and content with his life. The Sforno says on the word שבע that it means that Avraham achieved מכל מה שהתאוה לראות ולעשות בימיו, everything that he had craved to do and see in his lifetime. If you were Avraham and you have heard these promises so many times from Hashem wouldn’t you be craving to see them come true? Or at least begin to come true?

Avraham has just finished eulogizing his beloved wife of many decades, and now he needs to find the place to bury her. He goes through a technical real estate negotiation with עפרון whether to pay in cash or buy the land on a loan and pay later. He insists on paying cash in full (insert the Jewish real estate joke of your choice) and then buries his deceased wife. Every single commentary discusses how Avraham executed the perfect acquisition from a halachic standpoint, and according to all opinions after he erected the monument over Sarah’s grave he now is a land owner in Canaan. This is it!! Hashem said כי את כל הארץ לך אתננו ולזרעך, and now it has happened! He is holding the deed to a field and cave in Chevron! To all the locals standing around it was a simple real estate deal but to Avraham this is finally the beginning of the fulfillment of a promise that he has been hearing about for the last 62 years! He finally feels Hashem smiling down on him.

What about the promise of future generations? If the story ends here Yitzchak is still just a single man with no generations to come. But immediately after Avraham buries Sarah he sends Eliezer to find a wife for Yitzchak. And indeed, Yitzchak married his cousin, Rivka, and for the second time, Avraham feels the divine smile shining from above. His lineage is now poised to enter the world.

I think the lesson here is patience. We don’t necessarily hear promises from Hashem, but we ask for things and we wait for them. But sometimes, you need to do what you know is right and to patiently wait for 75 years to hear from Hashem. And then wait another 62 years to see the beginnings of the promise that you got. But Avraham set up a spiritual DNA that was passed to Yitzchak and then Yaakov and down to us, so we definitely have the power and capability of having that trust and patience, we just need to tap into the soul that we have inside of us.

There is another amazing lesson that I saw in the Sforno that I want to share, which I think ties back to the above message as well.

The Pasuk says after the story of Rivka traveling with Eliezer, ויצחק בא מבוא באר לחי ראי והוא בארץ הנגב. Yitzchak returned from his going to באר לחי ראי, and he went to his home in the south. There are a few different opinions about what he was doing in באר לחי ראי: 1- Rashi says that this is where Hagar had been living and Yitzchak went to bring her back to marry Avraham again, 2- יונתן בן עוזיאל says that he went to the בית מדרש of Shem (Noach’s son), which was called באר לחי ראי since it is the place where one comes to know Hashem as the “Living One who sees me, but can’t be seen” (interesting pshat).

The third pshat is the Sforno’s pshat. A small amount of background first. Back in פרשת לך לך when Hagar got pregnant with ישמעאל, Sarah had treated her badly and Hagar ran away to a desert. A מלאך comes to her and says go back to Sarah and be pained under her. I will increase your progeny and they will be at a quantity that they won’t be able to be counted. You will have a son, call him ישמעאל, he will be a wild man who is involved in everyone’s affairs, and he will have great children. After hearing this she names Hashem, אתה א-ל ראי, according to יונתן בן עוזיאל “You are a God who sees but can’t be seen” and according to the מהר”ל “You are the God who is able to be seen even in the desert when one is in pain”. And she names the place באר לחי ראי. Try to put yourself in Hagar’s shoes for a minute. She just had a divine vision telling her that she will have great offspring, but she will need to go through years of oppression to get it. She is in the lowest of places, stuck in a desert with no food or water. But she davens to Hashem and comes to recognize Him in a way she never knew. She tapped into Hashem being there for someone who is with you in the worst of places, and who is All-seeing. We can’t see His plan, but He sees everything and gives us life and its challenges accordingly.

Back to the Sforno, he says “Yitzchak went to daven in the desert that Hagar had davened and been answered. And in truth before he davened the marriage had taken place already between Eliezer and Rivka’s family in חרן.”

Yitzchak had just lost his mother. He also knew about the ברית בין הבתרים and that as soon as he gets married and has children they are destined for 400 years of oppression, suffering, and wandering. He needs direction. He goes to that desert that Hagar named באר לחי ראי and calls out to Hashem who sees those with pain. He cries out for Hashem to help Eliezer find him a wife who will be a companion and will be able to go through the life they are destined for together as a team. And little does he know that while he is davening a perfect match has already been made. The same Hashem who sees but can’t be seen, had already arranged a wife for him. והיה טרם יקרא ואני אענה.

I think it’s all one lesson. So many times, we feel pain and hurt, lack of direction, like we are stuck in a desert. Yitzchak was teaching and instilling within us that it’s from the desert itself that you see Hashem and that He cares for you. And who knows, maybe as you are crying out from your desert, down the road there is already salvation riding on a camel to greet you as soon as you finish davening.