One of the descriptions of the לוחות says that the letters were חרות על הלחת, engraved on the לוחות. The מדרש is bothered by the word על, it should have said חרות בלחת. So, the מדרש explains that don’t read the word חרות engraved, rather חירות, free. And there are three opinions of what the Jews would have been free from had they not stumbled in the sin of the עגל. Free from exile, death, or suffering. When the מדרש says that a word should be read differently than it is written, the new word needs to be related to the written word, but how does freedom correspond with engravement? I have heard it explained that the definition of true freedom is when we “engrave” ourselves in the word of Torah. But I always had an issue with this, it sounds nice and sweet, but freedom is literally the opposite of being engraved. Free will, freedom of choice, freedoms are all about options and being able to choose. How can we say that freedom can be understood as being engraved? Something engraved in stone has no fluidity or options, those letters were stuck exactly where they were.
It is possible that there are two levels of freedom, and two corresponding levels of enslavement. The first is how we typically understand slavery, when a person is forced to do something that they would not choose to do. Slave labor is forcing a servant to do work for you that they have no interest in doing. Liberation from that slavery means not having a master over you forcing you to spend your time a certain way. But when one gains this level of freedom there is another level of slavery that they are vulnerable to. We live in a world of limitless possibilities and opportunities, from business decisions to how to spend your time, to trivial things like which brand and flavor duck sauce you should buy, and all of these options flood our minds. There is something called analysis paralysis, which scientifically shows that our brains freeze up when presented with too many choices. We are so busy contemplating what the best option is that we can’t concretely decide which path we should take. And when we do finally decide, we are always second guessing ourselves thinking that maybe the other path would have been brighter and better. The Torah tells us how we are meant to spend our time from the minute we wake up till we go to sleep, and even how to fall asleep. Every hour of the year is accounted for, but not in a way that will choke us and force us to do mindless work. There are millions of scenarios that we face, and different people resonate with different ideas, scenarios, and circumstances, and the Torah deals with them all. The Torah gives us the tools and structure that we need to find our interests and likings amongst that plethora of opportunities, relationships, and scenarios that we find ourselves in. but the way to ensure that this will happen is by cordoning off that which is spiritually damaging and limiting the amount of choices we have in front of us.
I think the מדרש is saying that if you want to truly find your individuality and let the deepest part of yourself free, you need to engrave yourself in Torah and limit the possibilities that are in the world. This limitation gives a structured backdrop on which each person can find their way to connect to Hashem and allow their individuality to explode forth and affect the world.
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